Evening Reflection 8/6

  1. What did God teach me today?
  2. What made today great?
  3. What can I learn from today?

First off, I would just like to express how exciting it is to know there is so much to learn and always room to grow closer and stronger in my walk with Jesus. This past week has shown me that I crave to know more and more. God does not want us to be passive followers; he wants us to be challenged and mind blown by Him every single day.

  1. Church was crazy today… We broke down Mark 8:22-38. There are a few things that really spoke to me. In this passage Jesus heals a blind man by literally spitting on his eyes. His methods for miracles aren’t always expected or preferred. I can’t put Jesus and His abilities in a box. His power is unfathomable. I often “test” God by asking for signs and searching for answers in specific ways, places, and times. I must be open and receptive to His many methods and ways that He is constantly speaking to me. Some answers will not be so obvious or delivered in a way I can predict but He will always answer. I must be aware of things unimaginable and beyond human conception. There are absolutely no coincidences.

The second thing that stuck out to me gave me a lot of clarity about a time in my life I still had lingering questions about. The summer after high school, I got into LSD and began to open my eyes to what was going on beyond this physical realm. I was very happy and blissful…  but, self-centered and cocky. I believed I had all the answers and essentially was God. The world revolved around me but I was living a lie. I learned a lot of lessons from that time in my life. I still, however, had questions of why I had, what felt like, such pure happiness, appreciation for life and what I saw when I was messing with hallucinogens. Clearly I had opened a spiritual portal and saw something more. In Mark 8:28, Jesus asks his disciples, “”Who do people say that I am?” And they told him, “John the Baptist; and others say, Elijah, and others, one of the prophets.”” The devil cannot erase God’s glory but he can distract it and call it another name. He can trick us by claiming it for his own. He traps us into honoring sin. I was self-sufficient and didn’t believe I needed a savior. I was blind to the truth and light.

In accepting Jesus as my Lord and savior, I must reset my priorities. Who I am in Christ is my primary focus. Family, money, obligations, and all I knew to be true becomes secondary. I must suffer by giving up my worldly wants and desires for the sake of the gospel. Jesus said they will persecute me because I love Him.

The final “Aha” moment I had today, was realizing God gave me Kevin. I knew this before but it goes beyond what I previously understood. Since middle school I have been boy crazy… I’ve had “daddy issues” and felt like I need a male figure to be complete. God used this estranged relationship and resulting flaw to deliver a tangible message. Kevin changed all I knew about God and showed me His grace and forgiveness. He knew I needed someone who could lead me and show me the pathway to salvation.

2. God has made it very clear to me that I am meant to go to YWAM in Pismo Beach, California. He has blessed me with undeniable signs. I can now confidently say that my heart is already there. Unfortunately, my parents are not as supportive as I would hope. My dad’s opinion means the world to me. We have become very close in the last year. He is my best friend. He has supported me, taken me in when I had no one else and I needed him the most. He, along with my mom, grandma and stepdad (not to mention society and friends) have been adamant that I go to college and earn a degree. Before today, my dad has went as far as sending me bad reviews of YWAM. I finally stood up and made it clear that God has called me to be there and my dad replied by saying “Amen”. I know this may not seem like a big deal deal but it finally shows some support and progress ❤

3. I can learn that it is honorable and rewarding to humble oneself, be able to take ownership and apologize for wrongdoings. Intentional or unintentional. Something as innocent as accidentally hurting someone’s feelings is deserving of an apology.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. juanmaggiani says:

    Wonderfull reflection


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