The sunset is breathtaking here. The ocean meets the mountains in perfect unison. I now understand and feel the word, home. Home is not a house, apartment or place where you reside. It is where your heart belongs. It is where you feel safe and secure. Home is where God has called you to be at this very moment.
We spent the morning in orientation. The moment I dreaded came where we had to introduce ourselves. I have an extreme phobia of public speaking. A fear that has been diagnosed and required medication in my past. I felt my heart beat build up as we went around the circle and grew closer and closer to my turn. I know that it is no big deal, that these people will not judge me, but my body disagrees. My voice shakes uncontrollably and I know they can tell. As a part of the school, we must do presentations. Public speaking is an important skill and essential in evangilism. I know that Jesus wants me to conquer this fear. We have to share our testimonies tomorrow and I am honestly dreading it. I pray that God calms my heart and is with me. I pray that he uses me and speaks through me.
All the students were assigned to read Is That Really You, God?, a novel about the journey of the founder of YWAM and how it all came to be. There is a quote that impacted me and I felt it would be worthwhile to share, “But if God has something important to tell you, He will speak to you directly.” This message really spoke to me, because I have been delivered messages before and questioned if they came from a truthful source. Evil spirits will disguise themselves as good. When I went to Thailand on a missions trip, I was given a reading by a famous Buddhist monk. I’ve brought his words with me ever since, as if they defined my path. Although, he may have spiritual gifts, if it does not come from Jesus, it is not coming from goodness and to bring me closer to the truth. As humans, we naturally look to others for acceptance and assurance. It is necessary to have decernment and recognize God’s word as the one real truth and only reassurance we need. He is our best friend, Father, and counselor. He will lead us to greatness. He will not lead us astray. We must trust and look to Him for guidance, for He has big plans for His people.
Brooke and I spent lunch on the beach, getting tormented by seagulls. We found vegan fro-yo which was a big deal, also kinda dangerous since it’s only a five minute walk from our house. We found the cutest puppy adoption shop and got to hold the cutest little baby bulldog. Such an great first day exploring my new home.
Thank you Lord for this opportunity and guiding me to this magical place. God, thank you for speaking to me and showing me your plans and letting me be apart of them. I still can’t even believe I am here. I feel like the luckiest girl on earth to call you my Father. I am forever grateful and can’t wait to spend forever with you ❤